Why Charlotte Is The Worst Anime I’ve Watched (Rant)

What is the worst anime I’ve ever watched? It’s a question which I pondered for quite a while. Is it the show that gave me the least (probably Infinite Stratos). Is it the show that I found to have the worst characters? Or the worst art? Or the worst animation? Or the worst [insert thing here]? Or a combination of those things giving an average worst show?

No. To me the worst show I’ve watched is the one that inspires me with the most rage, the one that inspires the most hatred. It’s like the opposite of watching a good show, when I finished Psycho-Pass I was left with an empty feeling. I wanted more.

When I finished Charlotte I had an empty feeling too but this time I wanted less. I wished I could take back watching the show. I would have rather sat in silence for the four hours it took to watch if it meant that I could scrub my mind of the experience.

Many people will be surprised at this answer. It’s ~an 8 on MAL. It’s not nearly as *objectively bad as other shows, in fact in parts it’s quite good. (* not the myth of true objectivity but the general consensus of objectivity)

Let me explain why Charlotte is the worst with the wonderful land of metaphor.

I’d Rather You Look Me In The Eye When You Kill Me

Let’s compare Charlotte with maybe the most *objectively bad show I’ve seen, Infinite Stratos. Charlotte wins in every category. Characters, art, animation, music, story, you name it it’s done better in Charlotte. So how can I in good faith say Charlotte is the worst show?

Well if you haven’t seen Charlotte and have made it this far then let me say it’s entirely on the finale. Imagine your favorite two season or 22-24 episode show. Imagine the first 12 episodes were the same as they are in reality and then the entire second half was condensed into just one episode. How pissed would you be? I think the answer is very. Well this is what Charlotte seemed to do, packing an entire seasons worth of story into 20 minuets of screen time. It leaves this incredibly unsatisfying taste in your mouth, the story you’ve been enjoying up has been flipped over and unceremoniously fucked in the ass. On top of that there’s no chance of a sequel to rectify things, the story is sort of done.

Let me put it this way. Let’s imagine that IS (Infinite Stratos) and Charlotte are both blind dates. You end up going on 12 dates with IS and 13 with Charlotte, one for each episode.

You go on your first date with IS and she spits in your face. Second date she spits in your face. Third date she spits in your face and tells you to eat a bag of dicks. By the twelfth sate you’re either not expecting this to go anywhere or you’re a masochist. So when she takes out a knife and stabs you in your chest, you’re either not surprised or delighted.

You decide to stop seeing IS after the twelfth date (or perhaps you really are a masochist and went on to watch season 2).

So on your next blind date you meet this beautiful girl called Charlotte. You start talking and find out you have a lot in common. She’s funny, she’s smart, she likes [insert fetish here].

So you decide to go on some more dates. Each time is good, not all of them equally good but overall the time you’ve been spending with Charlotte has been great. If you were to put an arbitrary number on it maybe you’d give it an 8 or 9.

You go out on your 12th date and somewhere in the back of your mind you remember the whole stabbing incident with IS, you shiver. But nothing like that happens. You’re starting to think long term with Charlotte, introducing her to the family maybe moving in together.

Then you get to your 13th date. Charlotte is late. Very late. You’re beginning to worry. But then you hear her sweet voice behind you saying “I’m here!”. And then, before you get the chance to turn around, she stabs you in the back with a blade twice the size of IS’s.

You’re in pain and understandably devastated. How could she do this to you? You never saw it coming. You feel like an idiot for thinking about the future with this girl who was clearly just toying with you for what seemed like an age. All of your good memories with her are now tainted by this final one.

So which one of these two experiences was worse? Sure on average your dates with IS were worse but you were expecting as much. You’re barely going to think or talk about her other than whenever your mates go “remember when you dated [insert trash anime here]?” and you just try to shrug it off like the cool dude you are.

But with Charlotte you’ve been emotionally scarred. She has changed how you look at woman, you’re always wary that any girl you meet could be the next her. She’s the one you’re going to rant about to your friends and family. She’s the one that will leave you wondering what could’ve been. She’s the one you’ll be angry with long after she’s gone.

The bastard who stabs you in the front is better than the bitch who stabs you in the back.

The worst anime is the one that falsely promises it will be great.

I hope you enjoyed this rant on Charlotte, if you did please leave a like and follow the blog below.

Thanks for reading,

Psychime

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13 Comments

  1. Super entertaining post, dude. I can definitely understand the analogy, but I likely wouldn’t be as harsh with it if everything leading up to that point was decent. There’s a thick line between dating and watching an anime.

    My least favorite anime objectively* is Koi Koi 7. You should give that one a whirl.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, took me a while to be calm enough to write about it, before it always just devolved into an endless list of slurs.

      I can understand other people liking the show and even if they didn’t not being as harsh as me. My problem is I find ironic enjoyment out of shit shows, The Room is one of my favorite movies, so it takes a certain type of show to really grind my gears.

      Fuck it I have time, I’ll give Koi Koi 7 the 3 episode test right now. And I think you meant thicc* my good sir.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I kind of liked Charlotte but I kind of felt it started changing directions about mid-season. The final episode definitely packs in way too much but I’m kind of glad they more montaged that whole scenario rather than made us watch as he travelled around because it would have been really dull to watch episode after episode. It was a different kind of way to end and it felt resolved so it worked for me. That said, I get that a lot of people don’t like the way Charlotte goes so I can kind of see where you’re coming from.
    For me though, I’ll take Charlotte any day over the likes of Taboo Tattoo, Hitorinoshita, and Hand Shakers.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Please don’t speak about Hand Shakers as if it isn’t the avant garde masterpiece you know it to be.

      I get why people wouldn’t feel the same way though. Me hating it so much is a result of how I watch things. Although no idea how you managed to feel like it was resolved in any way satisfying. Teach me your ways sensei.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. All the powers collected, no more problem. Story resolved. Sure there are other loose ends but for an anime that’s pretty much as resolved as we usually get.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the date analogy and I definitely agree that it was a terrible idea to squeeze enough content an entire second cour into the last two episodes (as much as we like resolutions, pacing is also pretty important, unless you want us flying off the treadmill). However, when you put it up against anime like Big Order and Rail Wars, I’d be pushed to place Charlotte in the lowest category.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I kind of enjoyed Charlotte initially, but the more I watched, the more I found to dislike. Definitely felt like it needed to be a 2 core show. It was pretty distracting how badly this anime felt like it wanted to be Angle Beats as well (which makes sense immediately upon looking at the staff). Didn’t help that I called every major “twist” of the series and large portions of the anime were off putting.

    The final episode was my favorite though. The show through any semblance of seriousness out the window making the main character into Kirito. If anything, it was amusing and had some flashy (as well as cliché) scenes. I had a good laugh and gave it a low score but didn’t find it as bad as some things I’ve seen.

    Overall, this show is like a budget X-men that becomes sort of Matrix-y with a Kirito like lead by the end. Bit of a mess but still pretty easy to sit through, even if it isn’t very good.

    Like

  5. For the record quite enjoyed Charlotte, but I definitely agree that the final episode was both rushed and horrible.

    That being said, I was highly entertained by this post and enjoyed it a lot. You presented your thoughts on the show and your reasoning behind why it’s the worst show you’ve seen and as a result I can’t really fault what you’re saying.

    Fantastic, ranty post. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think anyone enjoyed that final episode truly. Most people whom I’ve seen talk very positively about the show do so acknowledging the lackluster finale. It was a shame I really liked a lot of it but the ending made me mad. Like OreImo although I was never as big on that as I was Charlotte

      Liked by 1 person

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